I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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