Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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