I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
