you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
