I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
