I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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