were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
