My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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