I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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