I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
