It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it's like heaven, but drunker
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So much rum. So many feels.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
