We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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