There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have grass duct taped all over my body
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
