I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
