someone get that fucking seahorse.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm passing your future prison.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
