found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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