I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
