okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
