hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So squirting runs in the family.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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