p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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