That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
