So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
