hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
