I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
