so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
