Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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