Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
