marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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