How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
