Apparently you make a good broom.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize