All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
