I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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