don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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