Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
