i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
