I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
