we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
