My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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