I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
