I'm really into asian looking animals
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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