So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
