I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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