Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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