Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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