you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
