Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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