Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
