she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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