fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
