I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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