I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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