some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
