I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Say something about gay babies.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
