i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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