I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
