I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
