Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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