Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
