Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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